I went to the bank today and because it’s the bank and you never know how crowded it’s going to be, I brought a book. Turns out the line was kinda long, so I shrugged, stood in the line and whipped out my book. (HA! You can’t mess with me line! I brought MY BOOK!)
While I’m standing there a guy in the front of the line suddenly loses his s**t and starts yelling. He goes up to a teller at the window and says, “What are you doing? Why aren’t you working? Isn’t anyone here working? LOOK AT THIS LINE! PEOPLE ARE WAITING! I WANT TO TALK TO THE MANAGER!”
The dude was seriously flipping out and all the bank employees, plus those of us in the line, got very nervous. In my mind I was waiting for him to scream something about Occupy Wall Street, but instead he yelled that the last time he was here he got a parking ticket or had to pay for parking or… I don’t know. Something about how it was the banks fault that something happened to his car the last time he was here when it sounded more like he didn’t check the signs or understand how the parking lot validation system worked.
He hooted and hollered for awhile startling those standing around being patient and those of us happy for a few moments to do nothing but read a book while standing in line.
“I HAVE MONEY! I AM A CUSTOMER!!! DON’T YOU WANT MY MONEY??”
A guy in a suit came up and tried to calm the guy down and when that didn’t work, calling the police was mentioned. Finally, the guy (and his money, presumably) left.
A nervous female employee started at the back of the line handing out lollipops saying mechanically to each one of us, “Thank you for your patience.” (lollipop) “Thank you for your patience.” (lollipop) “Thank you for your patience.” (lollipop)
I got a green lollipop. I don’t like green lollipops. In fact I’m not fond of lollipops at all. I considered screaming, “I AM A CUSTOMER! I HAVE MONEY! I DON’T WANT YOUR GREEN LOLLIPOP! I WANT SERVICE! WHY AREN’T YOU AT A WINDOW TAKING MY MONEY INSTEAD OF HANDING OUT LEFTOVER LOLLIPOPS?”
But I wasn’t feeling it. So I thanked the employee graciously while handing back the lollipop and went back to my book.
After the yelling man left another man, a big, tall, massive guy at the front of the line turned around to all of us and said, “I just want to say this is the best bank I’ve ever been to. All the employees have been really nice to me and I am very happy here.”
The employees sent up a smattering of weak applause and murmured thank yous.